Man says his wife left him for an 18-year-old she had allegedly been grooming since he was 16 — and years later the whole thing blew up again when criminal accusations, family infighting, and a desperate plea for forgiveness dragged him back into the mess
A man on Reddit said his marriage ended in the most humiliating way he could imagine. His wife cheated on him with an 18-year-old, moved him into the home, and then forced the husband out of his own life while trying to make him look like the problem. In the BORU thread, he described the affair partner as barely legal when the relationship turned public, and later updates made clear he believed the grooming had started when the boy was around 16.
He wrote that after the affair came out, his ex and the young man’s circle turned the aftermath into a harassment campaign. In the later updates, he said people tied to the affair partner and his ex kept contacting him, pushing him, and trying to drag him back into a situation he wanted nothing to do with. By the time the BORU post picks up the story, the man is no longer trying to save anything. He is trying to stay far away from the wreckage.
Then the story took a much darker turn. In one update, he said there was now some kind of investigation into what had happened between his ex, the affair partner, and several other adults. He wrote that multiple people may have been involved, that there were allegedly videos, and that drugs were reportedly part of what had been done to the young man. He said the whole thing had turned into a “black hole of craziness,” with more details surfacing the more people panicked and turned on each other.
At that point, the affair partner’s family started pushing hard for the man to meet with him. He said they wanted him to visit because the young man supposedly wanted to apologize, make amends, and was mentally wrecked. The man’s answer was basically: why should he be dragged back into any of this? He acknowledged that the kid had been groomed and manipulated, and that horrible things had apparently happened to him, but he still did not believe that meant he owed anyone absolution or renewed contact. He also wrote that his own family initially pushed him to respond, mostly because they feared another long harassment spiral if he ignored them. Later, after he explained himself more clearly, they backed off.
For a while, he tried to keep his distance with legal help. He had his lawyer send a letter telling the affair partner’s parents to leave him alone. That did not work. In the May 5, 2024 update, he said they contacted him again within days, and he finally agreed to speak with the affair partner’s father because he felt like he was going to get pulled into the situation one way or another. That conversation, he wrote, opened the floodgates.
According to that meeting, the father admitted he had known for a long time that the ex had likely been grooming his son while the boy was still underage. The man wrote that the father came off as a lousy parent who was weirdly proud his troubled son was involved with an older, attractive woman from a well-off family. He said the father basically accepted the relationship because it got the son out of his house and because the ex’s family gave him benefits for going along with it. The mother, on the other hand, had apparently objected from the beginning. The man wrote that the mother had tried to push for help, was furious now, and was preparing to divorce the father after years of control and silence.
The ugliest twist involved the affair partner himself. The man said he learned the young man was now backpedaling on nearly everything. According to the update, he had started retracting accusations and trying to reframe the abuse as consensual fetish porn, even getting some of the people involved to back that version up. The man wrote that he could not even process it, but believed the kid was psychologically shattered and badly needed psychiatric help. He also said this was exactly why everyone kept trying to rope him in: they were desperate for someone outside the collapsing group who had known his ex before all this, because the actual victim was no longer cooperating in a way that would make a case easy.
He eventually decided he was done. In the “final update,” he said he was not doing a dramatic confrontation, not showing up for some big emotional reckoning, and not letting himself be turned into a prop in anyone else’s crisis. He planned to have his lawyer make clear that he wanted to be left alone and, unless someone became desperate enough to try to drag him into legal proceedings, he intended to stay out of it completely. He said he had years of documentation showing his own concern about the boy’s age and showing that he had not been involved in what happened after his marriage blew up, so he felt protected enough to step back.
Even after that, he admitted he had heard a lot of theories and scattered updates through mutual connections. He said people around the ex and the affair partner were turning on each other, holding dirt over one another’s heads, and trying to save themselves. He also said the affair partner’s father was reportedly near suicide-watch territory, the mother was considering divorce, and the ex’s life was collapsing socially and financially. But he stressed that much of this was rumor passed through multiple people, and he treated it that way.
By the end of the BORU thread, the story was no longer really about an affair at all. It had become a story about a man whose marriage was destroyed by something predatory and far uglier than ordinary cheating, and who then spent years trying to keep other people’s damage from swallowing the rest of his life too. His final position was simple: the loose ends were wrapped up, the people who caused the harm could tear each other apart without him, and he was moving on.
