Neighbor Says Their Private Alley Isn’t Private — Even After the Homeowner Offered to Show the Survey

The disagreement started with a narrow space between two townhomes, but it turned into a bigger question about property lines, kids cutting through, privacy, and what happens when neighbors simply refuse to believe the paperwork.

In a Reddit post, the homeowner explained that they live in a townhome community where there are no fences between some of the houses. Between their home and the next-door neighbor’s home is a gravel alley-like space. According to the survey, the property line runs straight down the middle of it, which means each homeowner owns half.

The poster said their next-door neighbor understands that and agrees with them. Both families want the space treated as private. They do not mind people they personally invite back there, but they do not want the rest of the neighborhood using it as a shortcut.

Part of the issue is practical. The homeowner’s AC unit is located in that area on their side of the property. There are also utilities and sprinkler lines underneath the gravel, which makes the space more than an open walking path.

But the bigger issue is privacy.

The homeowner said when people walk through the alley, they can see directly into the side windows of the house. Because of that, the family often feels like they cannot leave the blinds open. What should be part of their home’s private side yard has started to feel like a public walkway.

Adults have used the space before, but the homeowner said those conversations usually ended easily. They would politely ask the person not to cut through, and that would be the end of it.

The bigger problem has been kids in the neighborhood.

According to the homeowner, some nearby kids have been riding bikes through the space, running through it, and using it as a shortcut for more than a year. The homeowner said they have asked them multiple times to stop, and the camera covering the area has captured them coming through again anyway.

At some point, the kids allegedly started trying to avoid being caught clearly on camera. The homeowner said some of them would hug the neighbor’s side of the alley as they passed through. One child even claimed the next-door neighbor had given them permission to use the space, but when the homeowner checked, the neighbor said that was not true.

A few days before the Reddit post, the homeowner saw one of the kids run through the alley again. This time, some of the parents were outside nearby, so the homeowner went over to talk to them directly.

At first, it seemed like the conversation might go fine. The parent told the child not to go through there anymore, and the homeowner appreciated that.

Then other parents and kids joined the conversation.

The homeowner explained that the space was private property and that the survey showed the alley was split between the two homes. Instead of accepting that, one parent said they did not agree that it was private property.

The homeowner offered to show them the survey.

The parent refused.

According to the homeowner, the parent said they were not interested in seeing it and would not know whether it came from a legitimate authority anyway. The homeowner said the parent’s position was basically that the homeowner could believe it was private property, but the parent did not.

That answer clearly bothered the poster, especially because it happened in front of the kids.

The homeowner said there is a big difference between telling children, “That’s private property, don’t go there,” and telling them, in effect, “I don’t think it’s private property, but don’t go there as a courtesy.”

The parent did say the child should not use the alley, but also added that if the kids went through again, there was only so much the parents could do because “kids are kids.”

That answer did not sit well with the homeowner. From their perspective, the kids are old enough to understand being told not to enter someone else’s property. And the adults refusing to clearly call it private property seemed to make the whole thing worse.

The parents’ final suggestion was that if the homeowner did not want people walking through the open space, they should install a fence.

The homeowner and the next-door neighbor had already considered signs, but their HOA requires approval to install anything, even on private property. Since they would have to submit a formal request either way, they started thinking a fence might make more sense than signage.

But even that comes with complications. The homeowner said there are utility and sprinkler lines underneath the area, and if construction damaged them, they would be responsible for repairs. That was one reason they had tried talking to people first instead of immediately putting up a barrier.

After the conversation with the parents, though, the homeowner said they and their neighbor decided to revisit the fence option and look into submitting an HOA request together.

What seemed to shake the homeowner most was not just that the kids kept cutting through. It was the confidence of the adults insisting they did not believe the space was private, even after being offered proof. The homeowner said it briefly made them wonder if they were overreacting or being too sensitive, which is why they asked Reddit for outside opinions.

Commenters largely told the homeowner they were not being unreasonable.

Several people said property lines do not depend on a neighbor’s personal belief. If the survey shows the space is private property and there is no public access easement, commenters argued that other families do not get to keep using it just because the area is open.

A lot of the advice came down to physical barriers. Commenters suggested a fence, a gate, signs, or some other clear boundary so there would be less room for debate. One commenter said that if kids are already ignoring requests and parents are dismissing the issue, signs may not be enough.

Others told the homeowner to get the HOA involved, especially since the HOA controls what can be installed. Commenters said the homeowner should frame the issue around privacy, property rights, liability, and the AC unit or utilities in that space.

Liability came up more than once. Several people warned that if a child got hurt while cutting through the alley, the same parents who claim it is not private might suddenly expect the homeowner to be responsible.

Some commenters were more direct about the parenting side. They said “kids are kids” is not a real excuse when the kids are old enough to ride bikes around the neighborhood without constant supervision. In their view, the parents needed to make the boundary clear instead of weakening it in front of the children.

There were a few lighter, more petty suggestions too, including motion-activated sprinklers, extra cameras, and walking through the parents’ yards to see how quickly they started believing in private property. But the more practical advice stayed the same: document the issue, confirm there is no easement, go through the HOA, and install a gate or fence if allowed.

For now, the homeowner seems stuck between not wanting to escalate neighborhood tension and not wanting their side yard treated like a public shortcut. The survey may answer the legal question, but it has not solved the neighbor problem.