New Mom Says Her MIL Put Her Nose in the Baby’s Mouth — Then Kept Asking for Bath Photos

A 34-year-old new mom says she is five months postpartum and already trying to figure out how to protect her baby without becoming the kind of daughter-in-law everyone accuses of being too much.

But after months of comments, ignored boundaries, and one shocking moment during a visit, she started wondering if her mother-in-law was not just overstepping — she was testing her.

She explained in a Reddit post that before the baby arrived, she and her MIL had a good relationship. That is part of what made the change so hard. This was not a woman she had always clashed with. This was someone she had liked and trusted enough to have around the baby.

Then the boundary pushing started.

The first issue was kissing the baby on the mouth. The mom said she asked her MIL to stop three separate times. Her MIL kept doing it anyway and insisted it was fine because she was vaccinated. The mom explained that vaccines do not prevent every germ or virus someone can pass to an infant.

Then, during the most recent visit, the MIL did something the mom could barely believe.

She put her nose in the baby’s mouth.

The mom said she could not believe her eyes. Then the MIL told the father-in-law to come kiss the baby’s face and mouth too, though he thankfully refused.

That moment alone would have been enough to make many parents pull the baby away. But it was only one part of the larger pattern.

Another issue was bath photos.

The mom said her MIL kept pushing her to send naked bath-time pictures of the baby. The mom had been keeping the baby covered with a rag during bath photos, initially to help keep her warm. But after her MIL made a comment about never getting any “giney” shots, the mom became even more determined to keep the baby covered.

She told her MIL several times that she was not comfortable taking naked pictures.

The MIL kept bringing it up anyway.

At Thanksgiving, the MIL raised it again in front of the mom’s family, which made the poster feel like she was trying to shame her publicly and get other people to agree. The mom repeated that she was not going to do it. Her husband agreed with her.

Breastfeeding became another battle.

The mom said she had struggled with both pumping and breastfeeding. While she was pregnant, her MIL told her breastfeeding was gross and that she should not do it. In the hospital, when the mom had to feed the baby, the MIL and FIL basically ran out of the room even though she was covered.

Since then, the comments have continued. The MIL has pushed formula because that is what she used, and the mom said the latest comment was that she should not bother pumping if she also had to give formula.

The mom had been supplementing because her supply was shaky that day. Still, she told her MIL repeatedly that she did not care and would continue giving breast milk because some breast milk was better than none.

Then there was babysitting.

The MIL complained that she never got to babysit. But one comment made the mom especially wary. The MIL reportedly said her friend told her babysitting is when you “get to be in control over the baby.”

The mom saw that as a huge red flag.

She had asked the in-laws to come over once when the baby was about a month old because she was having a rough time and needed help. They were supposed to bring food, but arrived without it, then commented that she did not have food for them to snack on.

According to the mom, her FIL went straight to her recliner and did not move. Her MIL held the sleeping baby and did not move either. Instead of helping with chores or food, they stayed seated for three hours while the exhausted new mom waited on them. They even asked her to pass things back and forth rather than doing it themselves.

She never asked them to come help again.

The final big issue was sleep.

The baby sleeps in a portable bassinet on the bed between the mom and husband. The mom said the baby sleeps through the night from about 10 p.m. to 9 a.m., so it is not disrupting her husband. She wakes up for every tiny baby sound, but she is comfortable with that.

The MIL kept pushing the idea that the baby should no longer sleep in the parents’ room. The mom explained that she wanted to keep the baby in the room for the first year because of SIDS concerns.

The MIL did not let up until the mom finally admitted that the baby might be okay in her own room, but the mom herself would not be okay. Then the in-laws laughed, and the subject finally changed.

A few days after the MIL put her nose in the baby’s mouth, the baby developed a fever.

That was when the mom decided she needed to be blunt with her husband. She told him she felt his mother was testing her. She said he needed to talk to her because the next time his mother kissed the baby on the mouth, she would leave and he could stay and Uber home if he wanted.

She also told him there was no way she would let his parents babysit when she went back to work because she could not trust her MIL to follow basic care instructions.

The mom worried her husband might think she was nitpicking because his mother does not say every comment in front of him. Their rule had always been that each spouse handles their own family, and it had worked until now.

But this was different.

The mom said she has never been great at sticking up for herself or enforcing boundaries. Now, though, it affects her baby’s health and safety. She told her husband that if they do not protect their child, no one else will.

By the end, she was asking if she was being overzealous or nitpicky.

But the examples she listed were not tiny preferences. They were ignored health boundaries, pressure for inappropriate photos, comments undermining feeding choices, and a grandmother who seemed to think access to the baby meant control.

Commenters overwhelmingly told her she was not overreacting. Many said the no-kissing rule was reasonable and that putting a nose in the baby’s mouth after being told not to kiss the baby was especially disgusting and disrespectful.

Several commenters were alarmed by the bath-photo comments. They said once a parent says no naked baby pictures, that should be the end of it. The MIL continuing to ask made people deeply uncomfortable.

A lot of commenters said her husband needed to step up. They told her that if his mother keeps crossing boundaries, he should be the one clearly stating the rules and consequences.

Others agreed that the MIL should not babysit. The repeated boundary crossing showed the mom could not trust her to follow instructions when the parents were not present.

The strongest advice was simple: set a consequence and follow through every single time. If MIL kisses the baby or pushes a forbidden topic again, the visit ends.