Woman Says a Facebook Dating Match Started Ranking “Bad” Women — Then Told Her Her Brothers Would Agree

A woman says she had just started talking to a man on Facebook Dating when the conversation took a turn so bitter that she stopped wondering about a first date and started wondering why he was dating women at all.

She shared screenshots in a Reddit post and asked whether the messages were already a red flag before she had even met him. The post itself was image-based, but the comment section made the general shape of the exchange clear: the man had unloaded a lot of resentment about women, dating, and trust before there was even a real relationship to discuss.

From the reactions, it seems he was not simply saying he had been hurt before. That would be one thing. Plenty of people come to dating apps with baggage, and some awkward honesty early on is not automatically a dealbreaker.

But this sounded more like he was sorting women into categories and treating the woman he had just matched with as if she needed to defend herself against his past disappointments.

One commenter described it as a man who would likely put any woman who rejected him into one of the categories he had already created. Another said he did not seem to see himself as the common denominator in his dating problems. That was the issue people kept coming back to: he sounded less like someone cautiously dating after hurt and more like someone walking into a conversation already angry at the entire group of people he wanted to date.

The woman did not just ghost him immediately. She actually told him directly that he was coming off unhinged and seemed to have a lot of resentment to work through. His response, according to her comment, was “all about perspective.” After that, she wished him luck and blocked him.

That response did not reassure anyone.

“All about perspective” can sound thoughtful in some contexts. Here, it came off like he was trying to avoid taking responsibility for how aggressively he had presented himself. Instead of saying, “You’re right, I’m bringing too much baggage into this,” he seemed to frame the whole thing as a difference in how they viewed it.

But the woman had already seen enough.

One of the more unsettling parts mentioned in the comments was that he apparently dragged her brothers into the conversation, with commenters referencing a line about her brothers agreeing with him or agreeing that she was not “that great.” That detail made the exchange feel especially personal and manipulative because he had not even met her family. He was already trying to use imaginary male relatives as backup for his view of women.

That is not flirting.

That is someone trying to make a stranger feel defensive before the first date even exists.

Several commenters also saw a broader pattern in the language. They said it sounded like “manosphere” or “redpill” rhetoric — the kind of online dating bitterness that turns individual rejection into a full belief system about women. Whether that was exactly where he got it or not, the effect was the same. He did not sound curious about getting to know her. He sounded like he was testing whether she would accept being talked down to.

And that is a miserable way to begin anything.

The woman later said she was not seriously considering dating him by that point and that the situation had become almost comical. Still, the Reddit validation made her feel better about trusting herself and blocking him.

That makes sense. Sometimes people know something is off, but because the interaction happens so early, they wonder if blocking is too harsh. Maybe he was nervous. Maybe he was venting. Maybe he had been hurt. Maybe he just needed someone to understand him.

But early dating is exactly when people are usually trying to make their best impression. If someone’s best impression is a lecture about why women are not as good as society says they are, or why any woman’s male relatives would supposedly agree with his negative take, that is not a tiny awkward start.

That is the preview.

She did not owe him a date so he could prove whether the bitterness got worse in person. She had enough information in the messages.

Commenters overwhelmingly told her she was not overreacting. Many said the man sounded bitter, resentful, and nowhere near ready to date.

Several people said he seemed to dislike women as a group while still wanting a relationship with one, which commenters saw as a major warning sign. Some described the messages as “manosphere” or “incel” energy and said blocking early was the right call.

A lot of commenters focused on the way he seemed to project his dating frustrations onto her before even meeting her. They said if he was already acting like she needed to answer for other women, any relationship with him would likely involve constantly defending herself.

Others pointed out that the woman handled it well by telling him directly that he was coming off unhinged before blocking. Commenters said that was more explanation than he was owed, but it may have given him a chance to reflect.

The clearest advice was simple: do not go on a first date with someone who starts by telling you how much resentment he has toward women. That is not honesty. That is a warning.